If I were to say that I were any one thing, it’d be a lie.
I am a collection of similarities and opposites and gray areas.
I’m not white, not straight, not masculine, not intelligent.
I am neither a PoC, Gay, Feminine, nor stupid.
All of these things are polarizing, and while one may say that in a particular situation I may be one of these, or that I am one of these to simplify an answer to a question, I am not simply any of these things.
I am more white than I am a person of color, it’s evident in my skin color. At the same time, I have people of color in my family tree, even if it’s a long way back.
I am more straight than I am gay, but there are men out there that I find physically alluring and there are men out there that I’ve bonded with in a deep way.
I am more masculine than I am feminine, but that is wiggly line I walk… I am gentle and soft and nurturing, and I am certainly not very aggressive… At the same time I enjoy the ruggedness of my own masculinity and masculine roles I play. (My wife and I have reverse traditional gender roles in our careers. She works a very physical job restoring old houses, where I work a very emotional job taking care of the disabled)
I like to think that I am more intelligent than I am stupid, but I often find myself really just not understanding things. I’ll find myself needing people to break down what they are explaining to me as if they were talking to a child. At the same time, I spend a lot of my time educating.